'Am I selfish for prioritising my life's goals before my parents happiness?'
1. "As much as I would love to make my parents happy, it is also my goal to achieve certain goals in life," says a concerned daughter
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**Dear Haya,**
How can I effectively support and enhance my parents' lives while also pursuing my personal goals and maintaining my well-being? I often feel overwhelmed and guilty as I strive to work harder and earn more.
I genuinely want to make my parents happy, but I also have personal aspirations and goals that I want to achieve. It’s challenging to find a balance between these two aspects of my life.
Does focusing on my own goals before my parents' happiness make me selfish?
— A Concerned Daughter
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**Dear Concerned Daughter,**
It’s completely understandable to feel conflicted between supporting your parents and pursuing your own goals. Balancing these responsibilities can be challenging and might lead to feelings of guilt.
Here are a few thoughts to consider:
1. **Clarify Your Intentions**: Reflect on the specific ways you want to improve your parents' lives. Understanding this can help you set clear goals for how you wish to support them.
2. **Understand Their Happiness**: Explore what genuinely makes your parents happy. Sometimes, our intentions to bring joy might not align with their true desires.
3. **Balance Your Aspirations**: It’s possible to pursue your personal goals and support your parents simultaneously. You don’t necessarily have to choose one over the other; both can coexist.
4. **Reframe Your Perspective**: Consider why pursuing your goals feels selfish. It might help to explore why you think your parents wouldn’t be supportive of your achievements.
5. **Open Communication**: Have an open dialogue with your parents about your feelings. Share your needs, listen to theirs, and work together to find a balanced approach that allows you to support them while also achieving your own goals.
Remember, prioritizing your own well-being and goals does not make you selfish. In fact, taking care of yourself is crucial for being able to support others effectively. Your aspiration to balance both is commendable, and finding this equilibrium can enhance your ability to support your parents meaningfully.
**Best,**
Haya
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*Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, and corporate well-being strategist. Send your questions to counsellingcorner@geo.tv.*
*Note: The advice provided is specific to the query and should not replace professional consultation. For personalized advice, please consult relevant experts.*
